The fast food industry is under fire for marketing their delicious death-meat to children. Rather than actually ceasing the marketing of their gateway drug to kids, the industry has decided to discourage the purchase of kids' meals by making them boring.

Mom brought home a Happy Meal bag that had no games on it, just trivia about apples. Gee, not all apples are red? Well, no shit. McDonald's, even I'm not so old enough that I think apple trivia would be fun for kids.

Meanwhile, I just got this tray liner at Burger King in support of their new and unexciting "Crown Meal." Click on the dots below to connect them.

Disclaimer: It's not as much fun as you remember.

What I see is a really lame excuse for a connect-the-dots picture. I might as well be drawing a picture of the trash can.

Elsewhere on this same placemat is another fun game: "Give all of your family members nicknames!" Burger King's suggestion? "Hot Feet." If that Mad Lib doesn't keep you from enjoying your Whopper Jr., nothing will.

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I'm sitting here, working on preparing eBay listings of Happy Meal boxes and toys that my mother has collected from various restaurants over the past 30 years. I'm also listening to BBC News on NPR cover the growing crisis with the Italian presidency. These two separate and completely different activities have led to this:

Perhaps Sir Shakes-A-Lot should be the new president of Italy, the country whose Supreme Court recently declared that it's ok to rape women if they aren't virgins. He may be spastic, but at least he understands the Chivalric Code.

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